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Fukishi
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Name: Monique
Location: United States
Gender: Female
Interests: Singing, drawing, listening to people, giving advice.
Expertise: Drawing O___O I think
Occupation: Artist
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/25/2006
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| I'm late, I know. I'm 17 days behind saying "happy New years!"
Actually, I still check my friend's xanga page. I'm still reading up! Good luck with everything. ^^
Um...so yesterday me and my younger sister had a heated discussion. A few days ago she called me lazy! I was angry...okay, not so angry. But i wanted to be more angry than I actually was...and that's what made me angry.
So I do not feel so happy being called lazy by someone who is also lazy. For one, the reason she called me lazy was uncalled for, in my opinion. It's a judgement and yet hypocrisy at the same time. It's because the dog as pooped on the training pad we had available for him.
She took the puppy outside out of fear that he might poop in the house again. His poop smells btw . But at that moment I think I either went to the bathroom or went to do something, anyways, she came in at the exact same moment I had just finished. Looked over at the paper and said "you didn't pick up his poop, that is so lazy"
I know it's not a big deal, but it reminded me of an incident where I got suspended from middle school. It was an accusation, she didn't want to hear anything I had to say, and that made me angry. I'm quick to anger sometimes. Mainly when it comes to people who are inconsiderate and do not care to listen. People who judge, and yet they do exactly what they are judging another person on. It's like, how the heck are you going to judge someone!
I understand we judge on a daily basis. Because it's a natural thing. However, judgments like "that person is a slob" or "that person does not know how to drive", is only driven by what you think, and not so much on what you know. What really sucks is the fact that what we think we know are things we really don't know. A person may seem like a slob, but that doesn't mean they are that way all their lives. They may have become that way out of something that has happened to them in life. And to make a matter worse by tossing in personal judgments can only due to make them feel bad.
So why exactly would people do something like this? We say "words do not hurt", but at the very core, they do hit, and they do harm. Verbal attacking. However, if you are stronger and you can ignore and you are not quick to anger, woo-di-do for you. >_>
So this event made me have a bad feeling that had occurred in my past. The feeling was the same. And so yesterday I spoke to my younger sister about how it irritated me. But then she started apologizing for it. That only makes it worse for me. She said she meant it, but why apologize if you meant it.
That's another thing I don't like. Well, first let me say, once someone says or does something to me, it stays with me, however, I get over it, but it still stays. It's like an everlasting impression. I won't forget, but I won't hold it against you when I get past it. Of course it becomes a memory, and I wonder if anyone realizes this. Those things you do or say to people stick. So make it count, and be completely honest.
If you say something, mean it. It's so common to have people apologize for something after some years past. Are we not above that?? Like wth?
I think back...have I done that to anyone?....hm....
Okay well listen. I hope this does not make me sound like I'm playing the victim role. I honestly can admit my younger sister has been in situations that were intense. I feel for her most definitely. But the issue is that she speaks up only so little.
However, in this situation, it wasn't much of speaking up as it was making a judgment. I understand speaking up, such as in feelings. But is a judgment feelings?? Because, most of the time our judgments can be wrong right? Well, anyways, like i said, I was more angry because I couldn't stay angry!!
Once I get angry, release my angry, I'm okay. This is like a horny man right? Kind of sad....
So anyways, a few minutes later I was fine. I calmed myself down, like I always do. I look at the situation and I realize how stupid it was. On my behalf anyways. But I was still bitter at the situation.
I really hate when people say something about me and they don't acknowledge the fact that I've done things. Like for example, if I clean, and then someone turns around and calls me lazy for not cleaning up one day, I'll get upset. For one, because I do clean, I just didn't feel like it one day or I'll do it later, and 2 for the fock (yes I said fock!) are they to say that!
Why would you bring up a person's short comings. So just to show my sister what it's like, I told bought up one of hers. Only to have her become offensive. It's not fun when it's your side of the stick. I do not like playing the "you did it to me, so I'll do it to you card", but sometimes it has to be done.
I try to stay away from people like the people in my family. Because for one, my family members are a bunch of crazy nuts , and even for nuts they are missing a few screws.
All and all :P I love my family and wouldn't trade them for the world.
At this point you may be asking yourself, demanding an answer of me "Why the fock did I read of all of this!!"
And my answer is:
TAKE THAT! IT'S NEW YEARS! BUCK UP KID!! :P
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| You know what I hate?
I hate when some guys try to flirt.Sometimes it makes me think "this isn't your thing, is it?"
I've been told that I flirt, but honestly I am completely oblivious to this.
When I'm "nice", guys take it has me "flirting".
But, what annoys me is when it goes something like this:
I was riding the train heading to my university. I was reading a book and it was very interesting!
Suddenly this guy comes in sits in the seat in front of me.
Then he turns to me:
Guy: what are you reading?
Me: A book on metaphysics.
Guy: Oh that's cool. What is the book about?
Me: *thinks* clearly about things beyond reality. (so I explain it to him. I figured, it's fine. I'm not mean. Then I ended it by saying that if he's interested in metaphysics he could purchase a book at Borders. Then I continued to read my book.)
Guy: What's your name?
Me: You were interested in what I'm reading right?
Guy: Yeah, if I know your name I could understand the book better.
Then he got this goofy look on his face. I dismissed him in a calm manner. Things like this are a complete turn off. Rather than beating around the bush, just say "I'm interested in you" so I can know what you're all about. I'm not stupid and I can take a hint. One guy once started a conversation wanting to know about the stops to get to a certain location. I assisted him. Somehow he was wondering what stop I was getting off at so he could follow me. And I'm like "Agagsbhgvfadshkj!!! WTF!!"
I usually talk to people at school or at a place where I know I'll get to sit with them and actually talk and joke about. I'm not the kind of girl whose like *goofy smile* "Oh! You want me to get in your car!!? Okay!!!!!" And if a person wants me to base them on first impressions, please act like YOURSELF.
I can't stress how many times a guy would approach me in a manner that's so fake. One guy from one of my classes was having a good talk with a bunch of classmates about how he had this girl who was "hood" and down for anything. I was doing my assignment, but I could hear bits and pieces because they were sitting on the side of me. Suddenly he tries to grab my attention:
Him: Spirit girl (a nickname he called me because I'm interested in things like that and i told him to stop calling me that. But he had no respect and did it anyways)
Me: Stop calling me that.
Him: Hey, you wanna go out with me? (very blunt)
Me: didn't you just say you had a girl?
Him: Naw, I ain't say that.
Me: >___> wth??
Don't lie!! Whatever you do, do not lie! Look, I really like hanging out with guys as FRIENDS at the moment. I explain this to them. But they are persistent. Sometimes they are even very confusing to me.
Like, there was this guy back in high school that I knew. I think we bounced off of each other. He spoke very well, and he was very bright. However, he was very confusing to me. It's like he always wanted to tell me something, but didn't. Like once, I wrote him a letter because we didn't get much time to see each other around the school explaining that if I did something wrong or off, I would like him to tell me rather than seem like he can't. He pulled me aside (literally by my arm) and explained that he didn't dislike me and that i was awesome.
After that, he seemed to avoid me! lol
*smacks lips* boys boys boys. Okay, so guys are interesting. Sometimes they behave in a goofy fashion. I just laugh at them. However, when it comes to anything dealing with emotions they become kind of strange right? Well, trust me guys, I understand you. I hate feeling things lol and if I could have it my way, I wouldn't. But I am highly sensitive to all kinds of things. Now i'm not saying I cry at every little thing, but I can read people very well.
But the best thing you could do, for your health as well, is to just express yourself in a very very positive manner. Even if it's writing a journal that no one else would see. That way you can channel your emotions and have a very simply conversation. I really think it's a shame that some guys feel they can't express themselves. And I've heard from some of my friends that it's "gay" to do so, and I ask them why, and they can't really explain. They just say "guys don't do that", but why won't you be the guy to do it and break that limit.
If you go to youtube and search Justin Nozuka, you will find a man who puts down his feelings of love. And if you scroll down, you will see all kinds of comments from women that say they would love for a guy to say those things to them.
Now I'm not saying you should be a crying river, but simple expressions of gratitude. It's not hard. Just say stuff like "I had a nice time" or whatever. Just express what you feel. You never know, those unique feelings of yours may be what lands you a lovely someone.
Also, I keep hearing that girls want to change or create guys that they imagine their guy to be. Omg! Don't do that! lol
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| Hey! It's been a while hasn't it.
I've been doing a bit of self-study, including courses in school. But :P whatever
Anyways, I've become more amazed with the body. At the moment I'm reading about Reflexology and pressure points. I think they were put there for a reason lol I think for healing as well. Not saying medicine is bad, but honestly, there are other ways to heal besides medicine. I see medicine as being a last resort.
For example, cramps. Before I would run to grab some medicine to reduce the symptoms (I still do, but only when I'm about to go to bed). But, if I'm awake and I have cramps, walking really does relieve the feeling. Aromatherapy works well too.
But pressure points are interesting. So I'm reading about this. Now the thing is, I hate taking classes, because they waste up like 3 months of my life, to tell me something that would normally take about a week or two for me to read up on.
Plus, since I've become a bit aware of my body tiredness, I decided to read up on it some more. The more I can understand about the body, the more I can take care if it.
The only thing wrong with studying this, is that fact that I can't do the pressure point for my back lol My arm can't go that far.
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| This guy walks in...he's being kind of strange. I don't know how to explain it, but he seems pretty upset and he's making these loud noises. Like putting things down on the table very hard, and sighing really loud. When I asked to see his student I.D. he made a very loud sigh, pulled out his ID and made this face. It's a like a "I'm flicking you off with my ID" kind of thing. Personally, I find it kind of funny. It's like "who spit in your face this morning?" Now I see why it's best not to take things out on other people. Anyways, I'm going back to work. | | |
| I know that regardless whom I choose to seek confinment in within the universe, the message will always be heard by God. I would say "it's strange", but it's really not, considering the fact that everyone has different views abotu certain situations. Mines deals with God. How to word it. Okay, I say "thank you" to my guides and everyone else. I always know that deep down in my heart, God is the creator. With this knowingness within me, I feel I can concentrate on other matters with focus. So I commonly chat with my own mind. Trying to figure out why I believe or think a ceratin way. And when I tell people "you do not have to always have to have God send you everything", but it's more like I mean, if you know that God is watching over you, you will know. If you think in your mind "Do i need this?" or "I wish I had this", if it's not given to you than, then wait. If it never comes, it's either not meant to be, or you never took the neccesary steps to meeting it half way. I have had people tell me my way of believing God is wrong. But I don't think it's wrong. There is nothing wrong. God is all knowing right? So He knows what I mean the most! I always think to Him once in a while "the way minds are down here is a bit strange". But it's more like, people believe there is only One way, and One way only. When there are ways that each person has that works for them. It's just like with learning. I'm quite a happy person. Yes sometimes I become clouded, but my belief in myself and all that is helping me, is what keeps me going. And if other feel the need to break this for me, how is it you can call yourself someone who is at whim to helping someone. You should try to improve upon that which wants to be improved on. I can help myself improve. If I do not have faith in myself, I feel I do not have faith in all those who are helping me. I have read a lot that God is within all of us. And this is why this is important to me. I feel it, yet explaning it to others is the difficult part. :3 I think to just keep with myself is okay. No need to wreck my brain and energy trying to explain myself to anyone. It's either you except me or not. ^__^ If you do, I will except you without a problem. I just really can't stand when I have a conversation with someone and their feelings get to me. I just want to leave them alone lol I like simple and fun conversation. I like people saying "well, why do you think this?" because it helps me think on this. Not when they say "well, this is this and you seem to be doing this and this and blah blah blah" because it seems like they are trying to turn me against myself. Maybe i can be a bit dogmatic, but I usually don't get into altercations with people who are considerate and understanding. I really do love people, but I've seriously had enough of people telling me "this is the way it is" without really knowing. They just say it because someone else said it, without any experience. When I was a child, people have said "you have to believe this", and I would ask them "why?" and they would say "because it is right" and that is all! That doesn't help me at all. I'm not trying to argue with anyone, but I would really like to understand all I can. I don't like arguing. But I enjoy talking. If I can find peopel who will speak with me, who are open minded, it will help me be more open minded I believe. Anyways, my thinking is soooo far out there. But on the inside I truly understand what I mean. Even if it confuses me when I try to speak it lol Maybe I just enjoy talking. | | |
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Info: Hi, I'm Monique! Pleased to meet all of you, those who come here and visit this here online journal of mine. haha... I'm a nice, caring, and a silly kind of girl. I love to draw a lot and boy do I mean it! I also like to play video games, reading, collecting things, helping others, and no to mention hang out with my friends.
